Pete's Log: In Search of Angels

Entry #2588, (Nature, Parenthood, Spirituality)
(posted when I was 46 years old.)

Alan Jacobs has been enriching my RSS feed for nearly a year now, and while he and I are a bit at odds philosophically (or at least theologically), he seems to argue in good faith and his writing is often thought-provoking. I recently came across his essay Something Happened By Us: A Demonology, where he likens the madness of crowds—in particular the January 6 riots of 2021—to possession by demons, or perhaps "extra-personal agential forces." The piece is subtitled "A theory of why we’re all going nuts online" and while Jacobs' personal views may hew closer to a literal interpretation of social media enabling demonic possession, I find value in exploring this idea as a metaphor. He makes the point several times that we are dealing with powers greater than ourselves and in his final paragraph writes "Any freedom from what torments us begins with a proper demonology." And thus the term demonology has been bouncing around my head for almost two weeks now.

In contrast, Lulu Miller's Why Fish Don't Exist has been bouncing around my head for nearly two years now. I wrote it was "probably worth reading for anyone who thinks about meaning in a cold unfeeling universe" and I stand by that appraisal. Miller describes how her atheist father was invigorated by the meaninglessness of life, but she in turn struggled in this ethical framework he provided for her. As an atheist father seeking to provide an ethical framework for my own daughter, I think about this a lot.

So with all these things bouncing around my head, I did something uncharacteristic for me: I asked an AI to help me define the opposite of demonology. Since I'm a prompt hacking noob, I couldn't get it to give me anything better than angelology, but things did evolve into a nice conversation about connections: connections to nature, connections to friends and family, connections to our community. So as the days finally start to grow longer again, I'd like to explore the idea of a metaphorical angelology.

If demonology defines what torments us, then angelology reveals what brings us peace. After our recent Colorado trip, I found to my dismay that I had no idea what the current phase of the moon was. I wonder if the discomfort I felt adds an extra layer to the malaise that unending grey days cause. At least when the sky is clear, we can follow the celestial dance around us.

The connections identified above seem an obvious basis for my angelology, but here is where I get stuck, trying to balance atheism and meaning, how much I miss the Social Justice Catholicism of my youth, where do I find that kind of activism for kiddo. High school English would have suggested that three types of connection would perfectly match the three body paragraphs an essay is supposed to contain.

It's not a coincidence I'm writing this on Christmas. Our house has been inundated with presents. We're working on practicing gratitude, but where do we ground ourselves to meaning on this secularized holiday in this secular household?

Back to connections, I suppose. It's tempting to end this with a heartwarming note of how you, my readers, are my angels. And while I appreciate each and every one of you, we started this train wreck of an essay exploring the angelic opposite of "extra-personal agential forces" and so we need to think bigger.

To me there is meaning in the rhythms of the universe. We've shared shooting stars, eclipses and more with our kiddo. I don't think it's coincidental how much astronomy affects religion across cultures. And there is meaning in our relationships. It's where Miller ultimately finds meaning herself. I believe the relationship Jamie and I have sets a meaningful example.

The search itself is meaning.